The following comments were received following written request to various student forum groups to review version two of the five different book pdfs that had been up-loaded to shared drives:
Mark Racle
Great to see how tis has come on Michele, and the essay …., it really sets the work very well.
It’ll be interesting to see how the conversation goes tomorrow, but me … I like the mono options, but can also appreciate the original colour for the girls, mono for the guys options.
I’m hoping to make it but … am juggling patients, and staff (and both groups with their mix of covid, household contacts, just plain worried etc).
I’d also signed up for the Wanaka Autumn Art School … https://www.autumnartschool.net.nz/as-programme-2022/photography%2C-looking-for-the-person-in-my-portrait … but that’s now going to be a Spring Art School…
Best wishes
Mark
Mark Racle
E: mark517663@oca.ac.uk
Sarah Gallear
Hi Michele
Sorry i’ve only just gotten around to looking at this. Have some comment, hope you’re documenting all of this and your changes/thoughts for SYP. The offer is still open if you want me to arrange something where we go through what each assignment needs from my view to help you get a bit of an insight. Only days tricky for me are Mondays as i have yoga class in the evenings
Anyway- my thoughts
- Lots of text on the foreword, instant thought is that its too much to read, could it be broken up a bit more, think its because its landscape.
- Also female only v2 the text is out of line with each other on the two pages, have you tried justifying it or having it in columns?
- Some word in the foreword especially in full b&w v2 cut over lines like Palliser and insular which affect the flow
- The black and white images in full b&w are really strong apart from the one where I know the lady in the garden is wearing a red cardigan as that impact is lost- do you have any others of her instead? While I love the colours you’ve capture, the black and white feels more powerful as it focuses me on the little details, the textures, lines in hands, what they are holding, patches of light like the white flour on the lady in the fish and chip van for instance that makes me personally spend longer looking at them
- Could you consider (not now but document it as a future idea/progression) two volumes, one male and one female like Tom Wood did two books Men and Women and they were sold as dual pack in one slip case
- Not sure what the male overlay is showing, having seen different iterations and the women and hearing you speak, theirs is the story that is interesting and engaging, it doesn’t need to have anything about the men as the foreword talks about the men being away and the community that’s had to develop without them which is what your images are about.
Give me a shout if there’s anything else and hopefully catch up soon
Sarah
Lynda Kuit
Google docs is screwing up your page formatting a bit. Probably best to put in PDF for a view. I must say I’m rather loving the Male-overlay version. I feel there is another layer of ambiguity and depth added and I think you have sequenced it very well with the recurring shapes in the juxtaposed female images. I think the ‘inner softness’ of the women comes through very well in this version.
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Lynda Kuit
Judith Bach
All versions look great Michele, my personal choice is the Bifold V2, but as you say it’s difficult to visualise the folds in a pdf. I do like the versions with a photo cover, will this have one or not ?
How brilliant to have Jim Graydon write an introduction for your book too.
Not sure if you’ve noticed but there’s a typo in the acknowledgements… Jim Graydon for providing the foreword to this project who’s book ‘On the Edge’ was an inspiration” …should be whose not who’s book.
Hope this helps, well done & best wishes Judy.
Holly
Hi, Michele,
My preference would be for a version of 1 or 2. I very much like the combination of the colour images of the women and their work and the faded b&w inserts. Am not sure what you mean by the overlays on the second( ?) version. Perhaps a longer version of 1? Also, what size is the book going to be? If it is A5, then the text size is probably a bit too big – anything more than 10pt doesn’t look right in a book format according to one of my tutors.
It’s a wonderful project, and very evocative of how we used to live here in the UK before the internet came along.
Holly
Barry
I prefer the bifold, mainly because it includes more of the lovely images. My only issue would be the images that bleed away at the edge of the page. I think this feels gimmicky and prefer the more central positioning of the other images. Lovely work.
I also was grateful for the Maori-English translations!
Bob Harris
Hi Michele
Inside the Shell Book Male overlay V2 works best for me on many fronts
I like the introduction photograph as it set the scene and I have a visual clue about the coastline. The arty side of me just loves what you have done with the black and white with additional text. It adds to the dialogue by presenting a lost time, a time of yesterday in today’s world. The quality and the presentation really suit the subject. (Is this platinum printing by any chance)
The translations and last image also worked.
Holly’s note on text is an interesting point, If the text is too small I will not read it, if it is too large it takes up to much space. Text size normally goes with page size, small book small font, standard page size, the text is around 11 and 12. Easy for most people to read including the poor sighted who use glasses, like me
Inside the Shell Book Full B&W V2 – the images not of the people, but their surroundings worked for me. The black and white portraits lost some of their initial impacts. Being outside the main community it was important to show the colours of living, black and white are a little drab and dull’s down their richness of life. Some people would love to out of the rat race. If you want to show the harshness of the living style you may need to print with a little bit more contrast to add a little more depth and emotion to the image. I find the black and white have lost something the colour shows about their lives. (It is up to date in colour, black and white in the past)
Inside the Shell Book bi-fold V2 – I have always liked a book whereby some images need to go over two pages, I have also found it is hard to show on a simple PDF, they are not designed to show this aspect. I do prefer the translations at the end, it encourages the viewer to look again at the individual pages, keeps the viewer interested and “respects” the native language of the country. The book is about them and not the English language we brought in.
Something I saw recently was personal quotes that were added at the end of the book about the individuals that summarised their point of view, some sort of closure to the book and their life. Not sure it needs it but shared the thought anyway.
Hope I haven’t gone on too much, Inside the Shell Book Male overlay V2 gets my vote
Regards
Robert
Sue Greenfield
Hi Michelle,
My preference is for the male overlay version …really like the ‘subtle depth of the b/w images and the positioning and interplay between the b/w images and the colour ones..Think I would position the text slightly below the b/w image i.e. allow just a fraction of white background between image and text to allow the viewer to better appreciate the image ..size of text looks a little too large for the page but font size would depend on the size of page… 10 or 12 usually used for printed books.
Really like how you have developed this work ….looking really good !!
Sue
Michele Usher 